It’s the Yuletide season. The time of the year I use to look forward to as a child but now, it’s just one of those holidays. The feeling I’m getting about the season is different from the one I have gotten over the years, maybe the realization of everything that has changed during this year is a huge factor contributing to my mixed nostalgic feeling.
I’m so sorry I was unable to post last week. I fell very ill and it got worse faster than I expected. I’m here now by the way and that’s great news. Thank you for hanging by.
The holidays will soon be here and it’s easy to forget about thanksgiving and sharing- the true reasons for the season. So I guess I’ll do that now. I’m sharing with you the things I’m grateful for this year:
First, I’m grateful for myself.
I know myself more than anyone else, I know how much I have had to grow and have a wider heart this year. I had to let go of my tough skin and accept myself for myself more. I opened up myself more, expressed my hurts, allowed myself to be vulnerable, and above all, I let go of the things I realized I could not fix. As much as I felt like I was a lot to handle, I am grateful that while I learned to let go, I also learned not to let myself go, I didn’t give up on life and I kept on pushing and forging ahead.
Second, I’m grateful for family.
I am not entirely expressive about my family but I am grateful for them. The number of transformations my family had to withstand this year shows how tough we are as a family. At the toughest times, we proved to one another that distance does not change who you are instead it fosters your relationship with the people you love the most. Together, we made a team, created compromise together, held each other In heart, prayed for each other, and conquered together. As much as I and my siblings are on a pact but different paths of life, we are still holding each other tight and reinforcing our bond as a family.
Third, I’m grateful for my heart
Sounds a little bizarre to say I’m grateful for my heart but well, I am. My heart is a symbol of everyone that it harbors. I’m grateful for the persons I have loved before now and persons I started loving this year and the person I learned how to love better this year. I am grateful for how big my heart has gotten and how much love it has been able to dispense to everyone deserving. I’m thankful for not losing any of them. I’ve seen previous years when I had to mend my heart due to loss, but here I am holding tight to everyone I love in smiles, joy, and happiness. It is worth being grateful for.
Fourth, I’m grateful for my success and failures.
This year was just not any year for me. If anyone followed my newsletter from the beginning, you’d see that I said a lot of “I’m writing exams” this year. I wrote a professional exam and 4 other tough ones. Even if all the results did not turn out the way I wanted, I am still more than grateful for the success and failures. Likewise, life in general. I’m grateful for the people I had to work with and the ones I was not allowed to work with. Every single thing I did that was a success and one that had shortcomings, I’m grateful for it all. It’s all part of the process, it helped me to learn that everything won’t come on a platter of gold but that doesn’t mean everything would also come in grains of dust.
Fifth, I’m grateful for my mental health.
One for one, that I did not go crazy. I won’t say I was in a good place but I’m in a better place mentally than I was last year and that is more than enough to be grateful for. I am well aware that I’m still learning how to handle situations I am incapable of controlling but it is baby steps towards the self mastery I am after. I am grateful for the nights I cried myself to sleep, it gave me clarity for what hurts me and what doesn’t. I’m grateful for the days I felt no pain because it taught me that one day, all the pain I feel will go and I will be me again.
Sixth, I’m grateful for Billy and Papa.
Billy and Papa are my dogs. Why am I grateful for them? I lived with them for nine years but this year I had to say goodbye to them. I lost my dogs this year and it hurt so much for a bit. So, yes I’m grateful for them. They were like my best friends cos I would always force them to listen to my rants about any inconvenience. I’m grateful for every moment I spent with them and moments I am about to spend without them.
Lastly, I am grateful for you.
Everyone who reads this newsletter, I am grateful that you exist. Your existence has brought joy to my life. Unknowingly, you have helped to shape my life and added definition to who I am. You made me push harder on my dreams and somehow you have encouraged me not to give up. Every single word put together so I can share with you means so much to me and as much as that does, you do too. I hope our love keeps blossoming like the tulip flower on a winter night.
I am honestly thankful for a lot of things that I am sure if I was to write it all, I will be outnumbered. That’s the main reason I had to wrap it up because from every single meal I ate to every dress I wore, I am grateful for it all. I am grateful for the people that made me smile and those that made me cry. The things I am grateful for are a lot lot.
Overall, I am grateful for life. I can only share this with you because I am alive to live life. To conclude this piece, I want you to remember to be grateful, share the things you are grateful for. It gives cognizance to the things that made you who you are this year.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life!
Thank you so much for reading this piece.
Yours,
Adetutu❤️🎅🏾
Grateful 🙏🏽
I’m grateful for you ❤️