I wrote this piece two days ago and I’m just taking my time to edit and post. So read it like today is Friday😌
I’m laying on my bed after a long day of shopping, crying, packing, begging, crying again, frustrated, almost giving up, angry, crying again, and now writing, tired and worn out. It is the entire feeling that comes with resuming back to school.
This is my first issue to you this year, it seems very right to say Happy New Year. The title of this piece already describes what it is about. It’s a new year and up until today that I got overwhelmed with a lot, it’s been a good one.
I have a lot of hopes for this year with Independence and Happiness as my major goals. Apologetically being brutally honest is all I intend for this year I can say that now because it's a new year, new me, amiright??? So instead of resolutions for the new year, I want people to see the changes as the year goes by. I didn’t draft out the changes in any particular order though.
I am trying out all the things I never thought I would and seeing if it works for me or not. It is easy to make judgements without trying it out but first hand knowledge comes from experience. Hence, the emphasis on my trial and testing phase. I’ve started working this out with trying out some fashion items.
This is hopefully the year of becoming the woman I have always fantasized about, confident, financially capable, independent, and happy.
Tomorrow is another school start day and I can tell you how exhausted I am in anticipation. School drains my goodness and fucks my mental health up.
I have about 7 exams this year with one of them being an external exam that determines if I move to the next class or not. This makes my focus for this year exclusive and goal-driven. Meaning it excludes any thought, belief, opinions, relationship, or opportunities that do not serve my highest good. Anything non contributing to my happiness would not be tolerated(my education is not making me happy but I have to endure the toxic relationship)
Also, I have big plans outside of medical school that might become time-consuming as time goes on but I hope that I’m able to navigate through it because achieving the slated plan would be a major one for the year.
My birthday is in less than 20 days and well, in a long time, this is the first time I have no plans, no feelings, no thoughts of it because I want the day to come and pass. It’s my 20th birthday so maybe I should do a lot right? That is not the ballgame- next year we will do bigger things.
The apathy I feel for my birthday is coming from the angle of feeling disconnected from the people I care about the most after this day because there have always been expectations from them which I don’t think it’s right on my part. So canceling out every expectation and celebrating the day my way, the way I have no idea what it is like now but it would come as time passes.
On this note, I am ending this piece by letting you know that, this year gats be soft on all of us. We have endured the longest. But the pages will flip each day and it won’t present to us with roses and champagnes so on the days that we get thorns and blood, learn to know that it is one of those days and tomorrow would be a better one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this piece. Until I write to you again, I hope your day is beautiful and your night peaceful. I love you.
My birthday is the 28th of January. Lol. I don’t want to have you calculating it wrong.
Okay now,
I love you.
Yours,
Adetutu❤️
Fave 💕👌🏼
🥺💜